The theme of today's episode reads like the most disturbing personal ad the world has ever seen. “Seeking 16yr. old, fugitive, honor student.” Well, Kristina may be an honor student, but today we are reminded that book smarts and street smarts are two very different things. While she and Michael are still on the lamb she decides to send a postcard to her little sister. Thankfully Michael stops her before she leaves a trail of breadcrumbs and postmarks. Phew. After finally convincing Kristina of why they can’t contact their families Michael caves and decides that the best idea would be to email his little bro Morgan and swear him to secrecy except to Molly, obviously. Guys. Knock knock. This is a bad plan.
While Michael and Kristina are sending emails and feasting on salmon salads and sparkling waters like most teenagers do, Jerry snoops around their room. As they leave, a menacing Mexican man follows after them and outside they are ambushed by a gang! Michael acts unafraid and unleashes his secret weapon… his words. Surprisingly, the full-grown man holding a knife in his face is un-phased. Enter Jerry.
Back in Port Charles, Morgan tries to take care of Carly who seems to think “bed rest” is another way of saying, “Live your life as you normally would.” He forces her to eat carrots admitting that Jax has bribed him with goodies if she eats any. When Carly learns he was ONLY offered a helicopter ride over the city she gives him his first lesson on taking advantage of people who have a lot of money. ABC’s? Check! 123’s? Check? Exploiting rich people? Check!
After Carly stuffs the nasty carrots in the couch (word.) Max stops by to play gin rummy? Carly takes no time in deducing that this is another ploy by Jax to distract her from the fact that her brain-injured teenager is no where to be found. I LOVE gin rummy, I would have forgotten about my missing kid before the cards were dealt!
When Jax finally graces us with his charming presence Carly insists that there are better ways to distract her. Wink. Wink. Solitaire?! No?
Down the road Alexis tells Molly that she can’t go online anymore, basically because mommy dearest has confessed to or has been accused of every crime in PC. Diane (one of my favs) storms in and tries to convince Alexis to tell the police that Kristina ran Claudia off the road so she can get the murder charges dropped. Ahhh, soap operas. Despite Diane’s best efforts Alexis won’t let Kristina’s life be “derailed” by telling the truth. Honesty is the best policy? Uncheck! Naturally, Molly overhears everything and once Morgan shows up to tell her about the email from Michael they officially become the most informed characters in the show. I bet tomorrow Olivia will tell them who Dominic really is.
Back to May-hee-co. Sam is back at the hotel where the kids are staying and calls the Jackal for more help. Before Sam can conclude the call Spinelli starts whining AGAIN about his undefined engagement. Sam’s, “WHAT Spinelli!” as he started talking was priceless. Poor Spinellster. His “unresolved romantic dilemma” is paralyzing his brain! Fortunately, Sam is able to give Spinelli the advice that we all wish we could scream through the TV. If you want to get married you are going to have to be more intuitive, dude! Of course, after Sam beats reality into him, he seeks out Diane and Max’s counsel to tell him what he wants to hear and now he’s planning on crashing the Scorpio family dinner to get his blessing and his bride. Rut row, reorge.
At Kelly’s, Maxie rants about a work crisis and Lulu steps in and calls the over-dramatic outburst what it is… “You’re scared because you don’t want to tell Spinelli you don’t want to get married.” Lesson learned? Next time someone proposes to you and you want to say no… don’t accept the ring… unless of course you mean to pawn it. Seriously.
At good ‘ole GH Robin is still convinced that the right handed killer theory is a home run. When Patrick’s storage closet invitation is interrupted by Andrea Floyd, Robin immediately throws keys at her which she catches in her RIGHT hand. Dun.dun.dun. Would now be a bad time to mention that in baseball you catch with your weak hand? Wow, Robin is right, this detective thing is thrilling! Andrea leaves. Mac show’s up and doesn’t want any help from Robin in the investigation. Andrea comes back and threatens Mac’s career if he doesn’t convict Alexis soon.
The random scene of the day belongs to Rebecca and Edward Q’maine. Rebecca scolds Edward for being her hall monitor and spoiling her “special time” with Nicholas. Ignoring her, Edward is busy strolling down memory lane and dodges a bullet by taking her with him. They look at photos of Lila on what would have been their anniversary. Being the fickle pickle that I am, I think I actually liked Edward today. Enjoy it while it lasts, Eddie!
Alright folks… talk to me!
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