Uh...(shoulder tap)... Um... Maxie?... Hi. WHAT ARE YOU DOING! Are you such a child that you are going to accept an unwanted proposal for the sake of being rebellious?! Ugh, I've been less irritated by those insufferable children that play the repeat game. Ugh, I've been less irritated by those insufferable children that play the repeat game. You finally got your out! Your one chance to decline the proposal and place the blame on someone else! What’s worse is that the longer Spinelli rambled on about, well, whatever it is that Spinelli rambles on about, the more I started to want Maxie to say “no”. Will soap operas ever give us what we want without a fight? Sigh. At least they did give us some comic relief. The quote of the day belongs to Mac when he is reminding the Jackal why he is not worthy of Maxie’s hand in marriage, “You’re a criminal, and a weird criminal at that.” He also at some point refers to him as a “nincompoop” and justifiably threatens to “dismember” him if he continues to make reference to their… eh, em… closeness. Eventually Patrick and Robin pull Mac away is if he was in a bar brawl and they all take off. Lulu follows suit wondering if anyone can actually hear her when she speaks. The hideousness that was this scene ends with the classic “you can’t tell that I’m making a concerned face because we are hugging” hug.

In other less relevant news, Keiffer loses his shishkabob and smashes a glass in a fit of man-rage in order to manipulate innocent little Molly into talking about “K”. Is it too soon to kill this guy off? I would kick that dude in the nuts un-prevoked simply to ensure that he couldn’t procreate!

Elizabeth and Nicholas have a sober conversation about their feelings at long last! Unfortunately they are being smart about the whole thing and don’t want to ruin a great friendship based on a few drunken nights. I’m sorry, did I say drunken? I mean polluted. Huh? That’s right kids, terms like trashed, hammered, or wasted are so passé… if you want anyone to believe that you are a future 12-stepper the hip new slang is polluted. Righteous.

Hmmm… what else… oh yes… Dante is a cop! I think I went from 0 to “have mercy” in point two seconds when it was finally revealed. So he is a good, bad boy! Tell me that isn’t sexy! YES! The Wedding Singer just came on! Unrelated.

Finally, in Mexico Michael and Kristina slowly come to the conclusion that Jerry Jacks can’t be trusted. It went something like, “Wait a minute. Jerry almost killed every person we know a few years ago, and I can’t think of anyone who trusts him, and… OMG, is that the Jonas Brothers?!!! They try to leave, but Jerry has a rent-a-cop guarding the door. Meanwhile, Jerry has taken Sam hostage and they somehow end up in Hugh Hefner’s bedroom. As if we weren’t creeped out enough by Jerry being Jerry, enter a larger-than-life man who can only be described as a Mexican Soprano into the Hef suite where Sam is now handcuffed. Eek!

Final thought… wait… is that what Jerry Springer used to do at the end of his shows? Seriously… I can’t remember? Ah well, final thought… I think I’d like to see Sonny and Claudia together. I mean really together, not “obligated because we are married because we wanted to create a mob alliance because somehow it will be more lucrative” together. Thoughts?
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