Let’s give a little refresher just in case this episode confused the poo out of anyone else. When we last saw Jason he was being shot in the clavicle (yes, the “clavicle”) by Jerry while crushed under seemingly immovable debris. We last saw Sam in Hef’s suite handcuffed to a chair when Pedro Ginormous walks in with clear evil intent. ‘Member? Good. So today Jason is exactly where we left him. He appears to be coming to and easily slides out from under the building that he was trying so hard to escape a couple days ago. He starts to hallucinate about Michael, Kristina, and Carly who all appear to represent his subconscious fear of being inadequate. Poor Jaseepoo! In all seriousness, for once, Steve Burton rocked these scenes. I think it’s hard to prove your acting ability with a character like Jason whose script is littered with Vin Dieselesque one liners, but I’m always impressed when he turns on the water works. Anyway, his final hallucination is of Sam and we wanted so badly for her to be real! She IS real?! What?! Shut the frick up! What about Hef & Pedro? We can see that she is now sporting the cuffs as a mob-couture bracelet… and… I… it’s… what the blazes happened?! Was Pedro a good guy? My brain hurts.
Moving on, Liz continues grilling Rebecca like the hamburger that she is. I have no idea what that is supposed to mean. Rebecca insists that she is in love with Nicholas not because he is moderately tall, dark, and handsome, but because he is “dark, troubled, and struggling.” Think Robert Downey Jr. in the 90’s. We can tell by Liz’s game face that she doesn’t want to believe her even though she does. Rebecca plans to tell Nicholas everything before they leave for Greece. You snooze you lose, Becks.
Since Nicholas already knows the happy news he is ready for the details… Like how long have Rebecca and Ethan known each other and were they lovers… In other words, do I need to get tested? Well, Nicholas… I’m gonna be straight with you, you’re probably carrying something. As soon as his rage reaches a boil, Rebecca shows up and after five minutes of the silent treatment feels the need to state the obvious, “Something’s wrong.”
Ding, ding, ding. Let’s see what she’s won, Rod! A trip to Atlantic City?!
Johnny confronts Olivia about the heated convo he overheard between her and Dominante. After she comes up with a half-decent explanation Johnny says, “Sounds a little like a mother yelling at her kids for playing in the street.” Hahaha, haha, oh, that’s a good one mister, hahaha, like a mother yelling at her kids, haha, where do you come up with this stuff, haha, ha, hum. Phew, that was a close one.
Meanwhile, Dominante is getting chewed out by Jax for getting near his family. Can’t really blame him after Morgan introduces him as the guy who kidnapped them in the woods. Oh! Come on in! Of course you can take my step-son to the game, and remind me later to give you the combination to our safe. Dominante handles it with grace and continues to score buku points with me.
Honorable mentions…
1. Michael and Kristina get jobs in Cancun doing practically nothing wearing practically nothing.
2. Olivia yells at Ronnie, Ronnie yells at Dante, Dante yells at Olivia (Ronnie is Dante’s partner… I mean, undercover partner… I mean, hetero police co-worker).
3. Michael gets asked out on his first date! Eeee!
4. Olivia gets asked out on her first date with Johnny! Eeee! Make out sesh, anyone?
One final note to the powers that be, the character of Alfred, the advice giving butler has been previously cast by a little known comic/cartoon/movies (see Batman).
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Actor Du Jour
Steve Burton
