How To Look Like Angelina Jolie

Once when I was a small child I, for some reason yet unknown to me, decided I should kiss a hot frying pan to see if it would burn me. It was the closest I ever came to looking like Angelina Jolie. The pain I felt at that moment can only be matched by the pain I feel when watching Spinelli and Maxie talk about their potential wedding. Maxie, I'm gonna need you to be more of a grown up about this and be honest about the fact that you are about as close to being married as the past 12 Bachelor/ette couples. Spinelli, I'm going to need you to be a little more intuitive and please oh please stop talking like Hamlet. I did find some relief in watching Maxie "I only want what I can't have" Jones try and seduce the abstinence out of Spinelli. He's caving... he's caaaaving... he's caaaaaaaaving... their kissing... Knock Knock. Who's there? The classic kissing scene interruption.

At GH, Scrub-a-dub is STILL trying to prove that Andrea Floyd is a murderer because... ... ... I forget why. Robin promises Patrick one more day to prove her case and if unsuccessful will hand it over to the professionals. Brake squeal!!! You're not a professional?! But, the right hand thing, and Patrick role-playing as the killer... that's textbook! They get Jax to buy into their theory that it was Colonel Mustard, in the Metrocourt, with the weird statue thing. I guess they aren't CLUEless after all. Oh come on! CLUEless! Like the board game! With the clues! You suck.

Speaking of people who suck, we got to see Keiffer today! Oh Keiffer, if only I was 10 years younger and masochistic. Ooop, that's all the time I have for you.

Lessons learned...
1. Looking like Angelina Jolie is not hard if you are stupid.
2. If you are one of the last 12 Bachelor/ettes you probably aren't married.
3. Robin ISN'T a professional detective. I know... I was bummed to.

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