In recent local news there was a man who was caught climbing into outhouses and watching people relieve themselves. So, when you think about it, Jasam's very hot and very public makeout sesh is not THAT embarrassing. What IS embarrassing is that an 11 year old feels they have to explain to you the meaning of the word "chivalry".
Lessons learned...
1. Everything is relative.
2. Sometimes The Breakdown is brief.
3. Sometimes The Breakdown wishes Jason was always wearing briefs.
4. Just briefs.
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Showing posts with label soap opera. Show all posts
Showing posts with label soap opera. Show all posts
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Defense mechanisms are a funny thing. Some people live in denial (Cough*Kristina*Cough), some people rationalize bad behavior (Um, Rebecca?... What?! I got the short end of the twin stick!), and some people leave their injured children alone in the hospital, seek out inappropriate sexual partners, and accept unwanted proposals in order to avoid the stress of having a hospitalized child, inappropriate feelings, and unwanted proposals (insert Elizabeth's name here).
Of course there are other defense mechanisms that are less psychological in nature and slightly more physical. Take the "slap in the face" for instance. Sometimes words just aren't enough to express your distaste in being called your brother's lover... Nor, to express your distaste in your brother's actual lover. However, when using this defense tactic beware of the counter-defense which quite often manifests itself in the form of a "fist in the face". (fine print: The risk of a counter-attack increases when slapping feisty cougars from Bensonhurst. Slapping can sometimes result in redness of the palm, and next-day wrist fatigue. If redness lasts for more than 4 hours you should consult your physician. No, not to thank him. If you are not satisfied with your slapping experience, spitting at the antogonists feet while walking away is recommended.)
Today's Most Valuable Actor (MVA) goes to...... Sarah Joy Brown playing the role of Claudia Zaccara. Wow, this is so unexpected! I just want to thank the fans and... Kanye West? What are you.... I just want to say that Lisa LoCicero gave the best performance of all time!....... SLAP!!!
Lessons learned...
1. It's okay to punch people who slap you.
2. It's okay to slap people who say you are your brother's lover.
3. It's okay to slap Kanye West.
Don't forget to click on the banner on the bottom right of the page to help raise money for To Write Love On Her Arms. Much love.
Of course there are other defense mechanisms that are less psychological in nature and slightly more physical. Take the "slap in the face" for instance. Sometimes words just aren't enough to express your distaste in being called your brother's lover... Nor, to express your distaste in your brother's actual lover. However, when using this defense tactic beware of the counter-defense which quite often manifests itself in the form of a "fist in the face". (fine print: The risk of a counter-attack increases when slapping feisty cougars from Bensonhurst. Slapping can sometimes result in redness of the palm, and next-day wrist fatigue. If redness lasts for more than 4 hours you should consult your physician. No, not to thank him. If you are not satisfied with your slapping experience, spitting at the antogonists feet while walking away is recommended.)
Today's Most Valuable Actor (MVA) goes to...... Sarah Joy Brown playing the role of Claudia Zaccara. Wow, this is so unexpected! I just want to thank the fans and... Kanye West? What are you.... I just want to say that Lisa LoCicero gave the best performance of all time!....... SLAP!!!
Lessons learned...
1. It's okay to punch people who slap you.
2. It's okay to slap people who say you are your brother's lover.
3. It's okay to slap Kanye West.
Don't forget to click on the banner on the bottom right of the page to help raise money for To Write Love On Her Arms. Much love.
Today we are going to discuss things that are awkward...
It's always awkward when a guy proposes to you right after you finished making out with his brother. Trust me. It happened to my friend's brother's ex-girlfriend's hairdresser so I practically have first hand experience.
When you tell your almost girlfriend that you are concerned that your ex-girlfriend is kissing some dude... that's awkward. When your almost girlfriend is concerned for how this is going to effect her ex-boyfriend... the awkwardness continues.
It's awkward when you are shot by your dad's hitmen and 3 and a half years later you still haven't been treated. Jason? Mexico? Deja vu?
If your boyfriend buys you a cell phone exclusively for use as a couple and then tells you it is so he can stalk you and remove all excuses for you to not answer him right away and then puts you in a death grip... it's okay to feel awkward. Encouraged even.
Sometimes it's awkward when you continue having black & white flashbacks of your step-parents confessing to destroying a year of your life. This also happened to the hairdresser. I think she is going to be on Oprah soon. Seriously. Not really.
Peace.
It's always awkward when a guy proposes to you right after you finished making out with his brother. Trust me. It happened to my friend's brother's ex-girlfriend's hairdresser so I practically have first hand experience.
When you tell your almost girlfriend that you are concerned that your ex-girlfriend is kissing some dude... that's awkward. When your almost girlfriend is concerned for how this is going to effect her ex-boyfriend... the awkwardness continues.
It's awkward when you are shot by your dad's hitmen and 3 and a half years later you still haven't been treated. Jason? Mexico? Deja vu?
If your boyfriend buys you a cell phone exclusively for use as a couple and then tells you it is so he can stalk you and remove all excuses for you to not answer him right away and then puts you in a death grip... it's okay to feel awkward. Encouraged even.
Sometimes it's awkward when you continue having black & white flashbacks of your step-parents confessing to destroying a year of your life. This also happened to the hairdresser. I think she is going to be on Oprah soon. Seriously. Not really.
Peace.
First and foremost, congrats to Julie Berman on winning the Emmy for Outstanding Younger Actress and the masterminds behind the scenes for winning the Emmy for Outstanding Writing. Very well deserved, everyone! Cheers!
There comes a time in every post-coma, pubescent man's life when he has to decide between a promising jetski rental career in Mexico or returning home to lead the life of a privileged mob baby. Jetski rental or mob baby, huh. I wonder what roles they are casting for on All My Children? In times like these all an identity starved adolescent needs to know is that they weren't responsible for causing the accident that killed their unborn baby brother. Oh. Really?! Fiiiine, I'll be a mob baby, but I'll need a babysitter since 4 parents and Jason isn't enough. You know, someone who can be a big brother figure, preferably an undercover cop posing as one of my dad's thugs. Done and done. Let's go home.
Back in Port Chuck, Keiffer is laying the ground work for his master plan to blackmail "K" into having sex (call it a guess). Dude, you are physically abusive! You don't need blackmail to control your woman! Apparently Alexis' poor judgement in men extends beyond her own love life. Hey Alexis, you see those red pointy things sprouting out of his head that look like horns? Those are horns! And his t-shirt that says "I hit on girls" is not a declaration of his sexual orientation! Pretty please let him be the one to go at the carnival (creepy music plays).
Lessons learned...
1. If you are a good actress you win stuff.
2. Blackmail is unnecessary if you are abusive.
3. The word "carnival" will now forever have a creepy connotation
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There comes a time in every post-coma, pubescent man's life when he has to decide between a promising jetski rental career in Mexico or returning home to lead the life of a privileged mob baby. Jetski rental or mob baby, huh. I wonder what roles they are casting for on All My Children? In times like these all an identity starved adolescent needs to know is that they weren't responsible for causing the accident that killed their unborn baby brother. Oh. Really?! Fiiiine, I'll be a mob baby, but I'll need a babysitter since 4 parents and Jason isn't enough. You know, someone who can be a big brother figure, preferably an undercover cop posing as one of my dad's thugs. Done and done. Let's go home.
Back in Port Chuck, Keiffer is laying the ground work for his master plan to blackmail "K" into having sex (call it a guess). Dude, you are physically abusive! You don't need blackmail to control your woman! Apparently Alexis' poor judgement in men extends beyond her own love life. Hey Alexis, you see those red pointy things sprouting out of his head that look like horns? Those are horns! And his t-shirt that says "I hit on girls" is not a declaration of his sexual orientation! Pretty please let him be the one to go at the carnival (creepy music plays).
Lessons learned...
1. If you are a good actress you win stuff.
2. Blackmail is unnecessary if you are abusive.
3. The word "carnival" will now forever have a creepy connotation
Dig it? Share The Breakdown with your friends, your GH communities, and your aunt who is a self-proclaimed cougar. Olivia?
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It's always been my dream to get into a legit fight just to see if I could win. I'm kind of a tomboy. A tomboy that likes soaps. I know. I don't get me either. Anyway, my fight dream now involves Keiffer and Shirtless Moron who somehow managed to obtain a girlfriend and rent a jetski with only a first grade level vocabulary at his disposal. Muy impressivo, Shirtless Moron. Now, before you punch me for stealing your Casio knock-off allow me to introduce you to my Uncle Jason... well, NOW he is my uncle. At first he was my father, but now my father is his boss because my real father died. I'm sorry, I can't tell if you are confused or if that is just the way your face is? In any case my uncle just pulled a gun on you so you should probably take your girlfriend and go sign up for the next available Hooked On Phonics class. Worked for me.
Now that the Corinthos kids have been found alive, all of the parents breathe a sigh of relief since they no longer have to feel bad about living their lives as if nothing has happened. Sonny tells Alexis that she should tell the truth about Kristina because it will come out eventually. I love a man of integrity. He then reminds Alexis that he is a professional criminal. Ooooo, so close. Claudia overhears them saying that Kristina is really the culprit after she gets back from sibling divorce court. I'm so glad Johnny isn't my brother. This way I can be attracted to him without imagining our kids turning out like Shirtless Moron.
Lessons learned...
1. Guns speak louder than words.
2. Even professional criminals insist on being honest.
3. If Johnny is your brother he is off-limits.
4. If you throw someone on a couch they will eventually throw you off it (courtesy of Max and Diane)
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Now that the Corinthos kids have been found alive, all of the parents breathe a sigh of relief since they no longer have to feel bad about living their lives as if nothing has happened. Sonny tells Alexis that she should tell the truth about Kristina because it will come out eventually. I love a man of integrity. He then reminds Alexis that he is a professional criminal. Ooooo, so close. Claudia overhears them saying that Kristina is really the culprit after she gets back from sibling divorce court. I'm so glad Johnny isn't my brother. This way I can be attracted to him without imagining our kids turning out like Shirtless Moron.
Lessons learned...
1. Guns speak louder than words.
2. Even professional criminals insist on being honest.
3. If Johnny is your brother he is off-limits.
4. If you throw someone on a couch they will eventually throw you off it (courtesy of Max and Diane)
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Have you ever wondered what the Mexican version of yourself is like (if you aren't Mexican already)? Who doesn't?! Today Sam learns that her Mexican equivalent goes by the name Sylvia and has a tendency to call into radio stations and reveal to much about her love life. As Jason and Sam listen to "Love on the Border", against their will, they find out that they have a parallel life in Mexico. Love, cheat, hate, one night stand followed by silence. It's just like Sleepless in Seattle, except not. Unlike Meg Ryan, instead of running into the pantry with the radio, Sam pulls over and beats the snot out of it. Crisis averted. But, wait, that's not all... if you call now we'll throw in a cuddly, sleepy scene followed by a little smoochie smooch in the SUV absolutely free! If that doesn't sell cars I don't know what will!
Meanwhile, Johnny and Olivia are trying to sell apartments. No? Not a good transition? Moving on. What we saw coming? Olivia wants to break up with Johnny. What we absolutely saw coming? Failure aaaaaand love scene.
Speaking of failed break-ups, Rebecca is ignoring her better judgement and trusting Nikolas even though he clearly wants to use her as part of his Saw XII audition tape. Back in the Bat Cave, Nik tells Alfred that she spit on Emily's grave and is going to have to pay to wipe it up. Why so serious?
While the couples who are "breaking up" continue to reap the benefits of a physical relationship, the couple who is engaged is strapping on the steel underwear. Or, at least Spinelli is. Maxie is slightly less enthused. I'm not sure why.
Lessons learned...
1. Breaking up + sex = not breaking up
2. We all have a Mexican twin
3. Spitting on graves is frowned upon
4. The new carnival promo doesn't get any less creepy the more you watch it.
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Meanwhile, Johnny and Olivia are trying to sell apartments. No? Not a good transition? Moving on. What we saw coming? Olivia wants to break up with Johnny. What we absolutely saw coming? Failure aaaaaand love scene.
Speaking of failed break-ups, Rebecca is ignoring her better judgement and trusting Nikolas even though he clearly wants to use her as part of his Saw XII audition tape. Back in the Bat Cave, Nik tells Alfred that she spit on Emily's grave and is going to have to pay to wipe it up. Why so serious?
While the couples who are "breaking up" continue to reap the benefits of a physical relationship, the couple who is engaged is strapping on the steel underwear. Or, at least Spinelli is. Maxie is slightly less enthused. I'm not sure why.
Lessons learned...
1. Breaking up + sex = not breaking up
2. We all have a Mexican twin
3. Spitting on graves is frowned upon
4. The new carnival promo doesn't get any less creepy the more you watch it.
Dig it? Share The Breakdown with your friends, your GH communities, and your aunt who is a self-proclaimed cougar. Olivia?
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Okay, I'm back. Sorry about yesterday, duty called. If only real life jobs required as little effort as soap opera character jobs.
Today, the Jasam scenes went from really intense to really awkward in about the time it takes Nikolas to rebound chicks. Sam interrupts the "after-cuddle" with an abrupt decision to go fix the car. Hmmm... snuggle with Jason or fix a car? Snuggle? Or, fix? Snuggle? Fix? If only there was an obvious answer!!! When she gets back Jason is all dressed (see what you did, Sam!) and ready to go find Michael. NOW you want to go find Michael?! Of course, Sam wants to make sure that he is ready physically. Not that anything is wrong with you physically? I mean, there's the gunshot wounds, but that's it. Everything else is working okay and everything. I didn't mean... you know... I'm gonna stop talking now. She then adorably taps him on the back and reminds him, as if he forgot, that they just had sex and asks if they should talk about it? Jason's negative response was the equivalent of handing her 50 bucks for her time. Today, I LOVED Jason and I HATED Jason.
Now that Jason is finally ready to find the kids... oh yah, THAT's why their in Mexico... Kristina is ready to go home cause she suddenly misses Keiffer and the thrill of an abusive relationship. Michael does a good job in communicating, on behalf of all of us, that she is crazy. 'Preciate it, Mike.
In other and almost as ridiculous news, Nikolas has decided after 48 hours of making out with another girl that it is time to forgive Rebecca. Even Rebecca is surprised. Um... so the other day when you said you were going to kill me and feed me to Alfred... was that by accident? Yes. Now come over tonight so I can finish with you what I keep starting with Elizabeth. Okay! Before she heads over to Wyndemere for the least subtle booty-call of all time, Ethan stops by to apologize and thinks he somehow might have a shot now that Nikolas knows the truth. What?! He forgave you? But you are such a selfish, manipulative, lying piece of an Emily look-a-like! What is he thinking?!! But, seriously, baby, how 'bout another shot. When Rebecca finally makes her way over to the castle Nikolas appears to have been abducted by his deviant personality. Rebecca, I'm afraid that part of Nikolas' "i must achieve Emily-closure" plan probably requires getting rid of anyone who looks and sounds exactly like her. Just speculating. Good luck with the wine.
Lessons learned...
1. Looking like Emily is not a good idea.
2. Sometimes there is only one lesson learned.
Stay cool.
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Today, the Jasam scenes went from really intense to really awkward in about the time it takes Nikolas to rebound chicks. Sam interrupts the "after-cuddle" with an abrupt decision to go fix the car. Hmmm... snuggle with Jason or fix a car? Snuggle? Or, fix? Snuggle? Fix? If only there was an obvious answer!!! When she gets back Jason is all dressed (see what you did, Sam!) and ready to go find Michael. NOW you want to go find Michael?! Of course, Sam wants to make sure that he is ready physically. Not that anything is wrong with you physically? I mean, there's the gunshot wounds, but that's it. Everything else is working okay and everything. I didn't mean... you know... I'm gonna stop talking now. She then adorably taps him on the back and reminds him, as if he forgot, that they just had sex and asks if they should talk about it? Jason's negative response was the equivalent of handing her 50 bucks for her time. Today, I LOVED Jason and I HATED Jason.
Now that Jason is finally ready to find the kids... oh yah, THAT's why their in Mexico... Kristina is ready to go home cause she suddenly misses Keiffer and the thrill of an abusive relationship. Michael does a good job in communicating, on behalf of all of us, that she is crazy. 'Preciate it, Mike.
In other and almost as ridiculous news, Nikolas has decided after 48 hours of making out with another girl that it is time to forgive Rebecca. Even Rebecca is surprised. Um... so the other day when you said you were going to kill me and feed me to Alfred... was that by accident? Yes. Now come over tonight so I can finish with you what I keep starting with Elizabeth. Okay! Before she heads over to Wyndemere for the least subtle booty-call of all time, Ethan stops by to apologize and thinks he somehow might have a shot now that Nikolas knows the truth. What?! He forgave you? But you are such a selfish, manipulative, lying piece of an Emily look-a-like! What is he thinking?!! But, seriously, baby, how 'bout another shot. When Rebecca finally makes her way over to the castle Nikolas appears to have been abducted by his deviant personality. Rebecca, I'm afraid that part of Nikolas' "i must achieve Emily-closure" plan probably requires getting rid of anyone who looks and sounds exactly like her. Just speculating. Good luck with the wine.
Lessons learned...
1. Looking like Emily is not a good idea.
2. Sometimes there is only one lesson learned.
Stay cool.
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Remember when you were a kid playing with the razorblades and broken glass your parents got you for your birthday... and the special times during a thunderstorm when the grown ups would sit around and drink beer while you played in the pool. Those were the best! Well, today GH took us for a nice trip down memory lane as we all watched intently to see if Cam, Jake, and Spencer would survive the picnic. We went 0 for 3 for parents who had enough common sense to properly evaluate the situation. We should have seen this coming when Nikolas showed up to a barbecue in business attire. At least he knows enough to know that he is not a great parent. Don't worry, I'm sure Liz will soon help you father your second child whose half-brothers will also be it's cousins. Confusing I know.
Speaking of not parenting, Sonny finds Claudia sitting in a baby blue rocker that was meant for their son. Though Sonny is the voice of reason he could stand to undergo some sensitivity training. However, what he lacks in sensitivity he makes up for with heartwarming stories about trains. Choo Chooooo! For the first time since... forever... Slaudia has a civil, dare I say loving, conversation. And, hey, it's always a good day when you are surprised that your husband doesn't want to divorce you.
In Mexico, Jason's fever might have broken, but Jasam is getting warmer! Ba dom bom chhhhhhhh
Lessons learned...
1. Don't let Liz, Lucky, or Nikolas watch your kids.
2. Just because your husband hits on other women and hopes you're not carrying his baby doesn't mean that he wants to divorce you. Yay!
Have a great weekend! Tell someone you heart them!
Help keep The Breakdown alive...
Word of mouth is the only advertising I can afford (I'm a writer what did you expect?). Invite your friends, your GH communities, and your aunt who is a self-proclaimed cougar. You guys are my motivation!
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Speaking of not parenting, Sonny finds Claudia sitting in a baby blue rocker that was meant for their son. Though Sonny is the voice of reason he could stand to undergo some sensitivity training. However, what he lacks in sensitivity he makes up for with heartwarming stories about trains. Choo Chooooo! For the first time since... forever... Slaudia has a civil, dare I say loving, conversation. And, hey, it's always a good day when you are surprised that your husband doesn't want to divorce you.
In Mexico, Jason's fever might have broken, but Jasam is getting warmer! Ba dom bom chhhhhhhh
Lessons learned...
1. Don't let Liz, Lucky, or Nikolas watch your kids.
2. Just because your husband hits on other women and hopes you're not carrying his baby doesn't mean that he wants to divorce you. Yay!
Have a great weekend! Tell someone you heart them!
Help keep The Breakdown alive...
Word of mouth is the only advertising I can afford (I'm a writer what did you expect?). Invite your friends, your GH communities, and your aunt who is a self-proclaimed cougar. You guys are my motivation!
Follow The Breakdown on Twitter @GHTheBreakdown
Follow this blogspot by clicking on the button to your right. No, your other right. There you go.
I glued my hand to my head once. Only it wasn't glue and it wasn't my head, so I guess it's not really the same thing. Today Lulu comes in (wearing the cutest dress ever!) holding her head like Jason holds his clavicle. Yep, it's the classic "I glued myself to something" storyline. It's one of those things that never gets old, like fart jokes, or Alex Trebec. Scrubs assumes that she has hit her head... OR did someone hit her IN the head? With their right hand? Where exactly was Andrea Floyd around 10ish? When Lulu says she wasn't hit Matt deduces that she glued her hand to her head. He must have gone to the same detective school as Robin! Dante shows up at the hospital to see Lulu, and I can't remember the last time he wasn't wearing that shirt. Dante askes if her hand is falling asleep and she assures him that NOTHING is tingly. Oh crap! That sounded like I was talking about something else. Quick change the subject. Runaway. Pretend Matt is your boyfriend. Phew. That was awkward. Hey! My hand actually is falling asleep! Haha.
Elsewhere in GH, Elizabeth calls Nikolas saying the kiss was a mistake and it shouldn't happen again which is code for, "If I could guarantee that Lucky would never find out I'd be having my way with you right now." Lucky "I'm only a little smarter than I look" Spencer wants Liz to spend as much time as possible with Nikolas cause he needs a friend. Oh, he needs a friend alright! Elizabeth, didn't you see Legends of the Fall?! There is talk of re-releasing it in Uzbekistan under the new title Brother-hopping Will Make You Kill Yourself.
Last, but certainly not first, Jax overhears Kate letting the cat out of the bag. No, not a real cat. It's an expression. No... it's... you... THERE IS NO BAG! Now not only does Jax know that Dominic is actually Dante, but he also knows that he is an undercover cop fathered by his primary target... Sonny "I use Lulu's glue as my hair gel" Corinthoes.
Lessons learned...
1. Hand + glue + hair = hot guy hits on you in a hospital - OR - Sonny hair
2. Expressions are not meant to be taken literally
3. Being last is not first.
In closing, I'd like to give a very special shout out to whoever it was on the GH messageboard on ABC.com for posting the topic Ice cream makes me fart. See! It doesn't get old!
See you tomorrow! Much love!
Help keep The Breakdown alive...
Word of mouth is the only advertising I can afford (I'm a writer what did you expect?). Invite your friends, your GH communities, and your aunt who is a self-proclaimed cougar. You guys are my motivation!
Follow The Breakdown on Twitter @GHTheBreakdown
Follow this blogspot by clicking on the button to your right. No, your other right. There you go.
Elsewhere in GH, Elizabeth calls Nikolas saying the kiss was a mistake and it shouldn't happen again which is code for, "If I could guarantee that Lucky would never find out I'd be having my way with you right now." Lucky "I'm only a little smarter than I look" Spencer wants Liz to spend as much time as possible with Nikolas cause he needs a friend. Oh, he needs a friend alright! Elizabeth, didn't you see Legends of the Fall?! There is talk of re-releasing it in Uzbekistan under the new title Brother-hopping Will Make You Kill Yourself.
Last, but certainly not first, Jax overhears Kate letting the cat out of the bag. No, not a real cat. It's an expression. No... it's... you... THERE IS NO BAG! Now not only does Jax know that Dominic is actually Dante, but he also knows that he is an undercover cop fathered by his primary target... Sonny "I use Lulu's glue as my hair gel" Corinthoes.
Lessons learned...
1. Hand + glue + hair = hot guy hits on you in a hospital - OR - Sonny hair
2. Expressions are not meant to be taken literally
3. Being last is not first.
In closing, I'd like to give a very special shout out to whoever it was on the GH messageboard on ABC.com for posting the topic Ice cream makes me fart. See! It doesn't get old!
See you tomorrow! Much love!
Help keep The Breakdown alive...
Word of mouth is the only advertising I can afford (I'm a writer what did you expect?). Invite your friends, your GH communities, and your aunt who is a self-proclaimed cougar. You guys are my motivation!
Follow The Breakdown on Twitter @GHTheBreakdown
Follow this blogspot by clicking on the button to your right. No, your other right. There you go.
Uh...(shoulder tap)... Um... Maxie?... Hi. WHAT ARE YOU DOING! Are you such a child that you are going to accept an unwanted proposal for the sake of being rebellious?! Ugh, I've been less irritated by those insufferable children that play the repeat game. Ugh, I've been less irritated by those insufferable children that play the repeat game. You finally got your out! Your one chance to decline the proposal and place the blame on someone else! What’s worse is that the longer Spinelli rambled on about, well, whatever it is that Spinelli rambles on about, the more I started to want Maxie to say “no”. Will soap operas ever give us what we want without a fight? Sigh. At least they did give us some comic relief. The quote of the day belongs to Mac when he is reminding the Jackal why he is not worthy of Maxie’s hand in marriage, “You’re a criminal, and a weird criminal at that.” He also at some point refers to him as a “nincompoop” and justifiably threatens to “dismember” him if he continues to make reference to their… eh, em… closeness. Eventually Patrick and Robin pull Mac away is if he was in a bar brawl and they all take off. Lulu follows suit wondering if anyone can actually hear her when she speaks. The hideousness that was this scene ends with the classic “you can’t tell that I’m making a concerned face because we are hugging” hug.
In other less relevant news, Keiffer loses his shishkabob and smashes a glass in a fit of man-rage in order to manipulate innocent little Molly into talking about “K”. Is it too soon to kill this guy off? I would kick that dude in the nuts un-prevoked simply to ensure that he couldn’t procreate!
Elizabeth and Nicholas have a sober conversation about their feelings at long last! Unfortunately they are being smart about the whole thing and don’t want to ruin a great friendship based on a few drunken nights. I’m sorry, did I say drunken? I mean polluted. Huh? That’s right kids, terms like trashed, hammered, or wasted are so passé… if you want anyone to believe that you are a future 12-stepper the hip new slang is polluted. Righteous.
Hmmm… what else… oh yes… Dante is a cop! I think I went from 0 to “have mercy” in point two seconds when it was finally revealed. So he is a good, bad boy! Tell me that isn’t sexy! YES! The Wedding Singer just came on! Unrelated.
Finally, in Mexico Michael and Kristina slowly come to the conclusion that Jerry Jacks can’t be trusted. It went something like, “Wait a minute. Jerry almost killed every person we know a few years ago, and I can’t think of anyone who trusts him, and… OMG, is that the Jonas Brothers?!!! They try to leave, but Jerry has a rent-a-cop guarding the door. Meanwhile, Jerry has taken Sam hostage and they somehow end up in Hugh Hefner’s bedroom. As if we weren’t creeped out enough by Jerry being Jerry, enter a larger-than-life man who can only be described as a Mexican Soprano into the Hef suite where Sam is now handcuffed. Eek!
Final thought… wait… is that what Jerry Springer used to do at the end of his shows? Seriously… I can’t remember? Ah well, final thought… I think I’d like to see Sonny and Claudia together. I mean really together, not “obligated because we are married because we wanted to create a mob alliance because somehow it will be more lucrative” together. Thoughts?
In other less relevant news, Keiffer loses his shishkabob and smashes a glass in a fit of man-rage in order to manipulate innocent little Molly into talking about “K”. Is it too soon to kill this guy off? I would kick that dude in the nuts un-prevoked simply to ensure that he couldn’t procreate!
Elizabeth and Nicholas have a sober conversation about their feelings at long last! Unfortunately they are being smart about the whole thing and don’t want to ruin a great friendship based on a few drunken nights. I’m sorry, did I say drunken? I mean polluted. Huh? That’s right kids, terms like trashed, hammered, or wasted are so passé… if you want anyone to believe that you are a future 12-stepper the hip new slang is polluted. Righteous.
Hmmm… what else… oh yes… Dante is a cop! I think I went from 0 to “have mercy” in point two seconds when it was finally revealed. So he is a good, bad boy! Tell me that isn’t sexy! YES! The Wedding Singer just came on! Unrelated.
Finally, in Mexico Michael and Kristina slowly come to the conclusion that Jerry Jacks can’t be trusted. It went something like, “Wait a minute. Jerry almost killed every person we know a few years ago, and I can’t think of anyone who trusts him, and… OMG, is that the Jonas Brothers?!!! They try to leave, but Jerry has a rent-a-cop guarding the door. Meanwhile, Jerry has taken Sam hostage and they somehow end up in Hugh Hefner’s bedroom. As if we weren’t creeped out enough by Jerry being Jerry, enter a larger-than-life man who can only be described as a Mexican Soprano into the Hef suite where Sam is now handcuffed. Eek!
Final thought… wait… is that what Jerry Springer used to do at the end of his shows? Seriously… I can’t remember? Ah well, final thought… I think I’d like to see Sonny and Claudia together. I mean really together, not “obligated because we are married because we wanted to create a mob alliance because somehow it will be more lucrative” together. Thoughts?
I know it's hard to remember what happened before the accident and the Corinthoes kid's field trip to Mexico, but it wasn't to long ago when Spinelli made his singing debut which won him his first night of mutual passion with Maximista. Since then, we've been living in soap opera agony as we've watched her avoid her little Spin-muffin and interfere with his plans to obtain Mac's blessing. Of course, the most agonizing part has been listening to Spinelli fish for encouragement from anyone who has cared to listen for the better part of two weeks. ANYWAY, the time finally came for Spinelli to ask for Mac's blessing despite the fact that he has a yet unwilling bride. So as most men do when trying to win the approval of their beloved's "patriarch" he gets down on one knee gesturing with his gift of man flowers. Meanwhile, Maxie is gulping down her vino and the rest of us are cringing and/or yelling "don't do it!" from our couches. Spinelli, Spinelli, Spinelli. Hopefully all this silliness won't result in the end of Spinmax before they have really begun. I guess we'll see how it all plays out on Monday.
Today's other honorable mentions...
1. Sonny makes fun of the way Spinelli talks
2. Carly loses a bet and somehow that means she gets a massage from Jax?! Gambling, anyone? ;)
3. Michael insists that he "could have handled" the gang bangers if they hadn't had knives. I have nothing to add to this.
Okay, it's your turn... What do you all think of SpinMax? Will they last? Should they last? Is anyone else tired of hearing the Jackal refer to himself in third person?
Today's other honorable mentions...
1. Sonny makes fun of the way Spinelli talks
2. Carly loses a bet and somehow that means she gets a massage from Jax?! Gambling, anyone? ;)
3. Michael insists that he "could have handled" the gang bangers if they hadn't had knives. I have nothing to add to this.
Okay, it's your turn... What do you all think of SpinMax? Will they last? Should they last? Is anyone else tired of hearing the Jackal refer to himself in third person?
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